


Sleepless

by ChipsandChicken



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Late at Night, Minor angstiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 13:04:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7715893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChipsandChicken/pseuds/ChipsandChicken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pam can't sleep.<br/>(Post Casino Night)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleepless

It was just as she’d always thought it would be.

Late at night, when Roy was asleep beside her and for no reason at all her mind refused to drift off, sometimes she’d catch herself half-imagining it. Jim Halpert. Sometimes he would just kiss her in the middle of the office, in front of everyone. It was passionate, celebratory-- maybe on Valentine’s Day, maybe on Christmas (damn mistletoe).

And when he finally really kissed her, in real life and not just the weird little guilty fantasies in her head, it was soft. Nothing demanding. He wasn’t asking for anything from her. It was just a kiss, a pressure against her lips with his arms looped around her as though that was always the way they were meant to fit together. It was the explanation behind all the questions that she would have never dared to ask, behind all the heart-flutters at work that got bad enough that she went to see the doctor for a heart murmur only to find out there was nothing medically wrong with her. The kiss was just as a kiss was supposed to be in her opinion; a declaration of love, unselfish and sweetly given.

Therein lay the difference.

She told herself that Jim was so attractive because he _didn’t_ ask for things from her, unlike everyone else. Even in this, he just let the kiss be what it was, and respected her --stupid, _stupid--_  decision when she finally made it. He didn’t look at her like it was her fault he was hurting, or say any harsh words. He just... smiled, and then quietly backed away, letting her hands slide from his like he was savoring the feel of her skin. And then he was gone, and she was alone with her thoughts and frantic reasoning.

Pam told herself that she was stressed about the wedding coming up. That was why Jim was suddenly so irresistible. But then the small voice in the back of her head reminded her that he had always been that way, so no dice on that. She reasoned that he was her best friend, and an attractive man to boot. Of course she’d feel things for him. It was bound to happen eventually. _Those are all reasons to love him back_ , the little voice chided. _And why_ , it continued relentlessly, _why did you feel so bad when he walked away if you didn’t have feelings for him?_

Huffing irritably, Pam turned over in bed and squeezed her eyes closed, imagining for a moment that the pressure on the other side of the bed was a far away friend, a lover, a brown-eyed smirking dork with a knack for making her laugh until her sides hurt, before finally, mercifully, drifting off.


End file.
